I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
