But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Quick, to the slutcave!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize