We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
