My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
