i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
