Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
