So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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