Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
