So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
