I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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