Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
