Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
