Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i believe in u and ur pee
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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