I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You were trust falling into bushes
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
