Nicole vs. Life
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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