You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
