D3 body, D1 cock
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
