Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
