FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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