Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
