Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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