due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
