Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
