you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
