i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize