Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Of course I have a pirate flag
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
