I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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