"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
