Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
