Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
