He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
