Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize