It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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