My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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