Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Michael Bay diarrhea
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
