just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
