oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
