Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize