hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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