guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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