can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm at about main and main street
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
this is an emotional support booty call
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
