I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
