He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize