there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
