God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
