i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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