hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
