You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
