Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My hand turned me down
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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