I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
