I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
