So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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