just tell him i said nine months
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
