i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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