nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it hurts more in the daytime
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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