She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
