i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
