i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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