There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
