Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
