I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
