Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Randomize
