i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
