Pregnant stripper...not hot.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
