He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
