i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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