I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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