It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I want her autograph on my taint
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
