Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
